How to Grow Friendships & Rice

It’s amazing what happens when you combine sun, rain, sweat, a few seeds, and a whole lot of mud. With these key elements (and a little luck) you can expect to see amber waves of vary (rice) for as far as the eye can see in approximately 150 days. Coincidentally, the five aforementioned components are also all it takes to grow lasting relationships with a new community. And the best part is that you don’t even have to wait for half of a year to appreciate the results!

I came to this realization when my life here at Fihaonana (the farming & animal husbandry school) changed suddenly and drastically. Early this January, after nearly four months of prayerfully waiting for new donors to sponsor the school year, the farm opened its doors to 36 young men and women. At last the Fihaonana class of 2016 had arrived to work, learn, and practice topics and techniques ranging from raising piglets to intricate vegetable plotting to English/music/cooking (with me as their teacher).

Beneath my surface level excitement for the big day, one emotion (unexpectedly) dominated my inner being: sheer terror. I suddenly felt like a child, frozen with fear by the prospect of the first day at an intimidating and unfamiliar school. Questions flooded my mind, both rational and unwarranted. What are they going to think of me? Should I act like a teacher or a student around them? Why haven’t I listened to more Malagasy pop music to maintain a “hip/cool” status? How am I going to make friends?

This last question buzzed around my head like one of the flies in the pigsties, and remained unanswered until I was waist-deep in mud, laughing alongside 36 students.

I never would have thought that I would find elation in digging up overgrown rice fields for days at a time, much less that something as simple as shoveling alongside another human being could foster so much companionship. As it turns out, one of the most effective catalysts for building meaningful relationships is the simple act of getting your hands dirty. Literally.

The best part about growing friendships and rice is that both are done side-by-side. When you turn the field, you shovel alongside the person next to you. When you stomp down the grass, you use each other’s shoulders for balance. When you plant/transplant, you walk backwards in a synchronized line to keep the rows even and the seeds undisturbed. And when you form lasting relationships, you accompany each other as equals. Side-by-side.